Friday, October 24, 2014

GRL 2014 (Part 1)

Hello everyone!

So of course it's time for the official GRL master post! I've been longing to make this post for at least a few days now but I was unable to because of the infamous con-crud. I'm not sure where or when I picked it up and from whom - but it had to have something to do with all the people I kissed (on the cheek!) or maybe just all the hugging. I don't know and to be honest, I really don't care. I had tons of fun.

So that being said, I'm going to break down each day from the moment I got there until the time when the conference was over. And this time I have pictures! Yay, pictures!

I hope you enjoy!


So there really isn't anything noteworthy about most of Tuesday as most of it was spent in a car driving from New Jersey to Chicago. Yeah, it sounded good on paper and I know for a fact we saved a great deal of money on travel (driving only cost about 120 dollars because our car is amazing on mileage - where plane tickets were around 180 each round-trip or whatever) but it was exhausting.

We left 10:30 AM and arrived at the beautiful hotel around 9:00 PM, Central. So almost twelve hours in a car. Not fun. But it was nice once we got to leave the car and unwind.

I met the wonderful and talented J.P. Barnaby in the lobby who proceeded to pull me into the hugest hug possible. You have no idea the magnitude of this hug - it was the hug to end all hugs. For those who don't know, she's a very good friend of mine. We usually talk for 2-3 hours straight once or twice a week and it was nice to finally see her in person after a year.

I also got a chance to be officially introduced to William Cooper, my lent-assistant, whom I met last year but we really didn't talk much. He's a lovely guy and very, very sweet. I'll just insert this here - I couldn't ask for a better assistant. EVER.

After we had our hello, I was instructed they were going to go play a game called Cards Against Humanity...which, just by the name, I should have knew what I was in for. The rest of the night was a blur...but I do remember snapping turtles biting off the tip and pacman uncontrollably guzzling cum - so I'm going to assume it was a good night.

We also managed to have Chicago pizza for the first time and it was delicious.


So of course Wednesday began with me texting J.P. and asking her what she was doing that morning because we've talked so much and seen so little of each other so I'll be damned if were weren't going to spend as much time together as possible - which she agreed.

So we got breakfast together and when I went downstairs to her room with the fiance I was introduced to the lovely Jodi. Now, apparently we met the year before but I seriously did not remember - it doesn't say anything negative about her, but rather about how many people you meet in a single weekend at GRL. This time I like to say we were officially introduced because got to spend a great deal of time together and actually had a conversation for more than a few minutes. She's one of the sweetest, most genuine people you could ever want to meet.

So being a glutton at heart, I wanted to sample the breakfast buffet, my fiance did too. I didn't see an issue because we've stayed at hotels with breakfast buffets before and they were stellar...yeah, wasn't the case this time. The waffles tasted like depression and the bagels were so hard I thought the secret ingredient was Viagra. But in all honesty it was the only negative experience so it's forgivable. :P

Anyway, after breakfast we had a lot to do. We went back up in the room and proceeded to assemble about 250 bags of stuff. You see, J.P. being the generous, kind-hearted individual she is, allowed authors who couldn't attend as authors or couldn't make it to put their swag inside of her bags. This was lovely...but we were flooded! I think we had stuff from over 50 different authors and it was basically just myself, William, and two others assembling everything together. It was chaotic - but fun. I also had help from two lovely ladies (who are good friends) Juli and Rebecca - I met them last year on the last we didn't get to hang out as much as we should have. But this year I like to think I remedied that.

Afterwards I tagged along with J.P. to pick up Ms. Shae Connor and Jared Rackler from the airport. Now I had met Shae previously twice - wonderful person and has such an amazing smile - but this was my first time actually meeting Jared officially. He was at GRL last year but I don't think I found the inner strength to approach him as I was much too shy back then and he well, doesn't appear to be. Let me say he's also very sweet and funny. We all had quite the car ride back. I won't get too personal but our topics ranged from writing to threesomes to slippery dildos. Yeah...if you weren't there, you certainly missed out.

That night we proceeded to play Cards Against Humanity, again. It was Myself, Anthony, J.P., William, Jodi, Jared, Daniel Kaine (adorkable and gives amazing hugs!), Brandon Witt (cute, funny, and has a nice laugh), Amy DiMartino (beautiful, funny, and reminds me of home!), and I'm sure a few others. Let's just say it was chaotic. Notable mentions? Daniel giving AIDs to naughty children and the discovery that pacman seriously needs to seek help for his cum-guzzling problem.


This was the first "official" day of the conference. 

I didn't go to the newbie meet n' greet this year. I wasn't a newbie, so I didn't see the point. I was much too busy sleeping - I was exhausted, okay?!

I shot a text to J.P. and of course, our gang went to breakfast again. Only this time we didn't have the buffet, we just ordered off the menu. Huge improvement. My pancakes were beautiful and fluffy and I just wanted to wrap them around my naked body while dancing to I touch myself by divinyls. Yeah, they were seriously that good.

After breakfast it was time to head down to the Supporting Author Signing. I helped them carry stuff down and basically went to support William (his first time being a supporting author) as well as Wade Kelly (another close friend) and Jeff Adams (sweetest guy ever). During my venture in the Supporting Author room, I managed to finally meet Taryn Plendl - a lovely woman who's quickly become one of my closest friends. I enjoyed chatting with her and her lovely daughter made my fiance and I two My Little Pony bracelets. He got Rarity, I got Twilight Sparkle. OMG! They were beautiful. I don't think I took it off once the entire weekend.

I have to mention that I was shocked that people were actually buying my books! I must have had like twenty people come up and ask me to sign their things. It was a bit overwhelming and I couldn't even begin to handle it. I was blushing like crazy and came dangerously close to crying a few times. But I was bolstered by William, J.P., Anthony, Rebecca, Taryn, and Juli-Anna. So I didn't do that.

Speaking of people buying my novel - three fellow authors whom I just so happened to look up to, also purchased copies! T.J. Klune, Daniel Kaine, and K.A. Mitchell! Holy cow! I'll have to address them separately.

T.J. - I was surprised when I saw that he'd be attending this year but I was really happy. As soon as I possibly could, I said hello and hugged him. I spent some time with him and Eric Arvin last year and they really were amazing. We chatted a bit and I mentioned I had a novel out - I don't want to fully recap what I said because I don't feel like crying right now - but I mentioned how they were part of the reason why I worked up the courage to actually try to make my way into the M/M genre and he asked me to show him the novel. I did, and he bought a copy. I don't know if he actually intended for me to have an out of body experience or not...but I came dangerously close.

Daniel - I met him last year. He was far too quiet so I thought he hated me. This year I decided to try and see if I'd get the death glare or not. He came up to me and mentioned he purchased it and after two chapters thought it was really good. And let me say it sounded really pretty coming from him. :P
Anyway, I melted and yeah, I signed it - actually messed up my name! >.>

K.A. - sweet woman, one of my first friends in the genre. I love her to death. I was so touched that such a brilliant author actually took the time to buy my novel and when she asked me to sign it I actually teared up. >.<;;

Afterwards I went out to lunch with J.P., Anthony, William, and Jodi - we went back to Portillos which is a delicious place near the hotel. Think cheese fries to end all cheese fries. They were that good.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur - I know I went to the authors lounge and stuck pretty close to J.P. and co. - we were officially her minions for the week. Which was a fun job! And I managed to raid the swag room and was given a hug by Rhys Ford (a close friend) and finally bumped into Lisa of The Novel Approach who is another close friend - and got a huge hug from.

Thursday night was the Juke Joint! Let me start off by saying that I was kind of drunk. See, somebody thought it would be a good idea to leave a bunch of booze out on a table in the hotel with a sign saying: "Free to a good GRL home" and well, I took that as a personal invitation. I downed a whole bottle of rum and milk. I had fun. I did some things I didn't think I would. I actually tipped an exotic dancer. A pretty cute one. And I kissed him, too! Holy cow. Again. I danced on a dance floor to S&M...with a woman and a man. It was crazy.


This post is getting kind of long so I'm going to cut it off here. I'll post the last three days before the week is over. But yeah. The first half of GRL was AMAZING. Second half was better.

As always, lots of love (and applesauce) <3

Pictures from the first half:

(Me, Anthony, Daniel Kaine!)

(Me and Dancer Derrick)

(Brandon Witt feeding me chocolate cake!)

(Me with TJ Klune!)


  1. Wasn't just your name you messed up, lol. You wrote what I presume to be 'You rock!' Only, it looks like you wrote, 'You cock!'

    1. ...I think we both know what a Freudian slip is. :P

  2. Wow! I'm tired just reading all that! Just kidding. :) You were one busy guy and it all sounds like a blast. Looking forward to reading about the rest of your GRL experience.